Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What is naturism/nudism?
The two are closely related. Naturism is the practice of promoting public social nudity, usually in private venues. Nudism is a lifestyle that advocates nudity in all aspects of life, as much as possible. We invite men from both camps to join us for our events, keeping in mind that the focus of gay naturism on sex and body-positivity is different than co-educational or political/family naturism.
Q: What is body-positivity and sex-positivity?
Both positions recognise the importance of the body, and respect for human sexuality as key to personal growth and development. As such, we embrace all bodies, from all walks of life, in all shapes and sizes, and in all ages (19 years and up). We encourage body pride, respect amongst men, and gentlemanly behaviour in all things. We neither encourage nor discourage sexual activity, but recognize that it is essential to male identity, and pride. We support members and guests in their exploration of each other in a respectful and open manner, when it does occur. We especially encourage penis-positivity among men. This means being respectful in our comments about each other’s penises in all states of arousal.
Q. What happens during gay naked events?
Everything and anything that happens during non-naked events. The only difference is that patrons are naked. In any and all licensed establishments, shoes must be worn, although during private events, this is not the case. Guests are always expected to bring a towel to naked events in private homes, so they have something to sit on, and don’t put out the host. The main difference between naked and non-naked events is that guests are generally speaking far more relaxed, as there are no visual cues that distract us from being men and equals. Nudity becomes the equalizer, resulting in very few concerns about status symbols.
Q. I am worried that I don’t fit into the “look” that is required, or I am shy about my body.
Public nudity is not about being impossibly perfect like the men in porn or fashion, but about all bodies being beautiful. We promote body freedom, freedom of expression, diversity and, most of all, self-worth and respect. Most persons who finally muster up the courage to come out to a naked event for the first time soon realize after entering the event that they had the same inhibitions as all those who came before them, and after a few minutes at the event, they, too, will be as comfortable as the others. Most walk away wondering why they haven’t tried it before, as most experience public nudity as one of the most liberating events of their lives.
Q. What happens if I get an erection?
Men get boners, regardless of our orientation. We all like them. Our members and guests are happy to see an erect penis, and there are lots of erections here and there at our events. The average man has many semi or even full-fledged erections per day, and getting one in an all-male naked setting, is a very normal occurrence. Our all-male events are a great place to explore comfort around showing off your penis, and appreciating the penises of other men in a supportive, non-judgmental environment. Part of respecting yourself as a man, and respecting others is penis pride! Just remember to be polite, respectful and friendly if you wish to engage on a more intimate level with another member or guest. Sometimes, a compliment is just that.
Q. Can I wear body jewellery or accessories?
In most all male settings, body jewellery or accessories are totally normal and acceptable, although in some co-ed (and especially some family) setting, some penile enhancement accessories are frowned upon or even not allowed. TNTMEN events are all-male, but some of our partner organizations are family, or co-ed in nature. One should always check with club rules for individual situations.
Q. What about couples or triples?
Same rules apply. Respect in all things, be nice to each other and understanding if people don’t know you’re together. We’re planning some couples events in the near future, and our events are a great place for poly groups, or to explore play (or even just observe it) as a couple. It’s a challenging environment for some, but a great place to explore boundaries and discuss gay sexuality with open and understanding gents. TNTMEN respects couples, and will be supportive if you flag concerns about play.
Q. How about general rules of behaviour? What happens if someone touches me?
A simple touch, like in any other clothed setting, is totally acceptable in most circumstances, although some men may feel very odd when another man inadvertently or otherwise, touches them. In an all-male (mostly gay) setting this is extremely normal. Touch is essential, and men are often unused to any touching from other men, including friendly hugs, casual caresses, and kissing. We encourage members and guests to explore such things as the naked hug, the direct kiss as a greeting, and the casual caress as ways to communicate, bond, and grow. Just keep in mind that we are all at different places in our growth. This means forgiving men who push the envelope with us a little, but also being open to trying new things. At our sex-positive events, you will have the opportunity to see and perhaps participate in casual play. The rules that apply broadly apply here too. You will notice if a man is looking at you to invite you in, you may feel a touch that also signals interest. We encourage everyone to be gentle, kind and appreciative of attention, and to signal interest or disinterest with the same care and respect. If you are confused, or unclear, or just need some guidance, ask someone in charge for some advice.
Q. Why should I go to any naked events?
Because it’s fun! Remember that first time you jumped into the lake or a pool when you were naked? Well multiply this by several hundred times and you might get close to the sensational liberty you will experience while you dance naked among the some hundred or so naked other guys. Nudity can make small events more intimate, and getting comfortable with your body among friends is a great way to counteract much of the negative attention and experiences many of us have in the broader community.
Q. Who comes to TNTMEN events? Could I run into a boss or colleague?
Any and all guys from all walks of life, any ages (over 19) and any cultural backgrounds, any sizes or shapes attend our events. TNTMEN prides itself in having a broad range of men in its membership and as guests. If your boss or colleague is, or might be gay, you may indeed run into him, although don’t forget that he is there for the same reason as you are! We’ve all had this experience, and while it may be embarrassing at first, it’s also a great opportunity to stand proud, let go of the pressures of life, and give yourself the respect you deserve!
Q. What about safer sex?
TNTMEN is a sex-positive, body-positive organization. We support members and guests in exploring respectful, mutual social sex where the venue and event permits. We also support safer sex practices, and work to supply condoms and lube at our larger events for everyone’s benefit. We recognize that many sex acts, such as oral, masturbation and frottage carry little to no risk. We discourage penetrative/anal sex in public at our events, because it may be seen as anti-social by some. We encourage the use of condoms at all times for such activities during and after our events. Our host bath-house, Spa Excess, is a perfect place to go if you meet someone and you want to take it further.