Letter to the Editor. Topic: Nudism, Naturism or Exhibitionism
By Bert Bik & Oscar Wolfman

The following letter was received by us from someone, looking at our
website. Since the man had taken the time to write to us in great detail,
we also took the time to respond to him. We have encountered these type of
comments several times in the past, so therefore we decided to publish both
the letter, as well as our response.

(Letter from a person looking at our website)
"YOUR PICS are B O R I N G !"

(Our Response)
"Please tell us why you feel that way?"

(Response from interested person)
Hi Guys, well, you invited my input, so here goes..... But, before I begin,
I just want to say that I adore Canadians. I attended a retreat-type
gathering of about 20 Gay/Bi men in Jemez, New Mexico in June 2001. Several
of the attendees were Canadians, and some of them were my
very favorites of the entire group.

Now, first of all, from looking at most, if not all, of your members' photos
at events, I can honestly tell you that, if I lived in or were to visit
Toronto, I would NOT be inclined to join or attend "tntmen" events. I've
been to Toronto, have met some very attractive guys, and, so I know
that attractive guys do exist there. If you have some members who are more
attractive than the guys whose photos are on your website, then perhaps you
could persuade THEM to allow their photos to be on the website. (Perhaps,
I'm speaking way out of turn since I probably would not be terribly inclined
to have my naked body plastered all over a website, despite the fact that
I'm told by many Gay men that I have quite a hot body.) Again, I'll be
quite frank with you.......... I love the photos that the GNI group in
Hawaii, called "MANOH", posts on its website. Now, I'm guessing that it's
highly unlikely that ANY or ALL of those guys are actually members of MANOH.
Nevertheless, the photos stir an interest in checking out MANOH if and
whenever I might travel to Hawaii. I also think that the photos make a
statement about MANOH. They might be trying to say that they highly value
and honor great looking bodies. There's nothing wrong with that, in and of
itself. Perhaps, to some people, their group is excessively preoccupied with
gorgeous looks, hot bodies, etc., and that might be the kind of men whom
they want to join. And, then again, maybe not. So be it. But, again, my
point is: who wants to look at not so attractive guys, and who is going to
be drawn to a group like that except other similar guys. I've also seen
photos of attractive guys who are members of other GNI groups, one of which
I think might be in Utah. There are others. I just can't remember specific
groups. Sorry.

Now, just for the record, "tntmen" is not the only group that, in my
opinion, has posted photos of guys who don't appeal to me, at all. (There
are some in Calif., of all places, where the men are "supposed to be oh, so
hot".) My guess is that you guys are simply posting photos of men who've
approved of them being posted, and you're just simply showing some of the
men at some of your events. Again, these men just simply are a turn off to
me. That's just my opinion, for what it's worth.  I make no apology for my good looks and/or my very nice body. And, I make no  apology for enjoying looking at attractive men. However, I do think that in  the Gay male population, in general, there is an excessively high emphasis  placed on "looks". This might seem a bit contradictory. Nevertheless, I am  no different than most people: I'm drawn to other good looking men who have  quite nice faces & bodies. Who wouldn't be, or who isn't? It's just like  paintings, crystal, mountains, clothes, buildings, etc.. Human beings like
looking at the beautiful examples of each of these. Granted, clothes that a
person rejects, based on how attractive they are to him, do NOT have
feelings, whereas a person who is not so attractive, DOES have feelings.

It's very clear to me that I do NOT want you to get the impression that I'm
a snotty and/or snooty queen or elitist or anything like that. And, perhaps,
I've gone into far too much detail insofar as answering your question as to
what I'd like to see. I just want to make it clear that as a Gay man who is
told that he is quite attractive, I also am very sensitive to the feelings
experienced by those men who are not so attractive.
Thanks for "listening".

(OUR RESPONSE)

Hi John,

We at TNT!MEN very much appreciate people like yourself who dare to speak
their  minds about issues important to them. That you looked at our website and
took the time to think about our pictures is why we have our website. Please
indulge me in my responses to your critiques.
Too often, naturism, nudism, and exhibitionism are confused. I believe that
your response to our website is, in part, based upon that confusion.
Nudism and naturism are about body acceptance. When I speak about body
acceptance I do not mean how others accept our body, but the way we accept
who we are, rather than the stereotypical images promoted by the fashion
industry, media, and Hollywood. Those images have little or nothing to do
with beauty, let alone a decent self-image. Most of the media inspired
images are fake, and they can only be accomplished through wealth, youth, or
physical torture. Since youth cannot last, beauty is supplemented with
chemicals, such as steroids and botox; cosmetic surgery, such as
liposuction; through anorexia; and if all else fails, the airbrushed photo.
This is exactly everything nudism and naturism is NOT about. We are about
being REAL, being true to ourselves and, much more importantly, accepting
the people we are. Fine with ourselves, no matter whether we are (in the
eyes of other) tall enough; skinny enough; endowed enough; pretty enough;
muscular enough; or whatever else others may think. It's not about your
opinions of our bodies, it is about ours.

Most of us in TNT MEN are nudists, as we simply enjoy being nude with
others, without any sexual connotation inferred. For naturists, being naked
is part and parcel of a lifestyle. Many naturist are extremely conservative.
Many are vegetarian. Many believe that being one with nature helps them be
their own 'true self.' Clothing, for most naturists, is merely an accessory
to keep them warm during colder periods, or to shade them from a blazing
sun. Naturists don't prescribe to the statement: "Clothes makes the man."

Than there are Exhibitionists, who are naked for no other reason than to
shock; what psychiatrists define as "a tendency to attract attention to
oneself," and "to obtain sexual gratification by public exposure of one's
body or genitalia."

The confusion between these three terms is compounded with the belief that
one cannot be naked unless one is 'beautiful.' You were looking for a site
of beautiful exhibitionists who would arouse you. One problem with this is
that beauty is subjective. The other is that the TNT MEN website is not for
exhibitionists or for people seeking a cheap thrill, but for nudists to
gather information about our activities. Furthermore, TNT MEN is not a group
restricted to gay men, so same-sex arousal is not relevant. Nudism and
sexuality have no direct correlation. Nudism doesn't exclude sexuality
either, but for everything there is a time and place. Our nudity is not a
license for others to take liberties, which in any other circumstance might
be considered as rude, obnoxious, or, in some cases, criminal.
Nudism is an equalizer between human beings. The proof is self-evident.
TNT!MEN has well over 340 active members from all walks of life, and we can
always count on the support of hundreds more non-members to attend our many
events. For example, our largest annual male naked dance, "Show your Pride,"
which is held during the last weekend of June, hosts up to 400 patrons, some
coming from as far away as Australia, Western Europe and Asia. They
certainly wouldn't all be there if it was about their having "beautiful"
bodies; rather, it is because we accept differences in bodies and can, then,
have fun.

TNT!MEN will never claim to be a group of pretty guys. What we are is a
group of men who simply enjoy being naked. I believe that all men are
created beautiful. Certainly, we may have our personal preferences when it
comes to the aesthetics of the body, but this doesn't take anything away
from the beauty of others as human beings. Expecting to find only beautiful
bodies, as defined by a society that requires people to feel bad about their
bodies (hence, to buy products to fix or hide it), leads to either
unhappiness if one does not fit the image, or Narcissism, if one thinks one
does. TNT MEN, and our website, is neither interested in people unhappy with
their bodies nor with narcissists.

Sincerely
Bert Bik / Oscar Wolfman
For the board of TNT!MEN